Although I do suffer from involuntary fits of narcassitic rage and would love nothing more that to shamelessly self promote the nation’s sickest and most innovative SlightlySick Gear t-shirt and cothing line, I do have other more ethereal interests. One such interest is the development of faith and religion as redacted and modified by the development of language.

I consider most of this is in response to my Jesuit high school upbringing, and the rather long stretch of adolescent time without seeing a woman as a result of said Jesuit training (it was an all male school). Although since then I have had the honor of paying a few women a couple of bucks to watch them breast feed (thank you Dave Atell for that quip), nonetheless the questions posited into my youthful mind still pervade much of my existence to date.

I am by no means a savannt in such areas, but I do have a certain innate curiosity about faith, or perhaps the language of faith, which has in turn fueled my rather obssesive penchant for reading books which contain both faith filled, athiestic, and agnostic undertones. Some of my favorite books include: Constantine’s Sword by James Carroll, Jesus by Malcom Muggerridge, Mere Christianity by CS Lewis, Got is Not Great by Christopher Hitchens, Barabbas by Par Lagervist and Dostoyesvsky, even if the Russian dynamo couldn’t possibly write a book less than 600 pages, just to name of few. The culmination of reading all these books, in light of the development of religion, and religion’s response to various period crisis, has ignited a more passionate review of language development, which in part, stems from the many latin, greek and spanish lessons I was subjected to as a youth.

Although I cannot remember verbatim this quote which comes to mind, “homosapiens are the only species which develops symbols and signs to which they assign meaning and invest their passions, only to forget why the original symbol was created.” Language, for me, outside of its more staid modern definition of defining others by dialect, speech, and or other mode of expression given to a specific region; is the entire basis upon which we, as humans, relate to one another. If one reads the bible, Babel is a perfect example of this in which God disperssed humans across the world and gave them differing dialects and languages which would, in turn, confuse us for years to come.

The penultimate question, at least for me, considering the multitude of languages which aided in the development of the bible, especially the Christian bible (which in its original formulations was in Koine or common Greek (Septuagint) and Aramaic the language of Eastern diplomacy), what ideas or thoughts could not be conveyed due to lapses and changes, not only in language, but also in style and meter of prose. Let me help illuminate my point by way of example, the word ‘cool’ at least in the 1940’s/’50s lexicon, was to reference temperature, i.e. it is cool out today. Today’s modern verbiage uses cool in much the same way we at SlightlySick have redefined the word ’sick.’ Of more common use Shakespeare relied heavily on the Geneva bible, referenced below, which in turn pervaded public thought and discourse, even to this day.

In addition, much of the modern bible is the development and creation of the King James Bible in response to the Geneva Bible written I might add by Proestants, in response to what they felt were Catholic use of sacred texts to validate their authority. Although the original forms of the bible tried to separate themselves from the Vulgate and/or latin version of the bible which was translated from Greek, I am still left wanting as to true or definite meaning.

In the end, faith begins where both reason and language end, for it is impossible to illuminate the infinite with a finite language. Nonetheless by studying the modus operendi for particular people’s language translation and thought process, it does illuminate the frame of mind of our original scholars and thus can enhance our own search for understanding.

Or perhaps we all have it wrong and Monty Phython is right in there wonderful dialogue of the Sermon of the Mount in the Life of Brian:

Although this post has strayed wildly from our previous posts, I would enjoy a civil discussion from other people’s experience and attitudes towards faith, as seen in the light of language development and its limitations. Please feel free to draw upon your experiences from outside the confines of religous and/or other such upbringing and reading. But do be respectful of others ruminations, and although we may scoff or protest, there is as Herbert Spencer wrote, and a paraphrase, ‘a bar against all arguments which will forever keep a man in permanent ignorance and that is contempt prior to investigation.”

At SlightlySick-U we love a great explosion, implosion, Fire Works and pretty much anything that makes a really big Bang!! We have searched the Web today to bring You some great SlightlySick Explosions. We shall start with a great little musical number From Monty Pythons Flying Circus!

Here is a great musical montage that really packs a BANG!!!!

Well, I hope your pyro side enjoyed this as much as mine did!

We at SlightlySick Gear would like to give Robert Morgan a SlightlySick Masters Degree in Twisted Animation. The following Video is a great piece of SlightlySick Twisted Art! Here’s To You Robert Morgan! Thanks for creating this amazing animation.

How to Cheat a Polygraph Test (Lie Detector)

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
There are a variety of instances in which you may be subjected to a polygraph, or lie detector examination. These tests can be a source of tremendous anxiety, especially since it is all too common for innocent people to fail them for no reason, resulting in the denial of employment or false criminal accusations. Why? Because polygraphs are far from perfect. In fact, many experts consider them a farce, and almost all scientists who have studied them (and even some polygraph administrators) understand that polygraphs are seriously limited. Fortunately, for this very reason they are easy to trick. So whether you don’t want your potential employer to know about your youthful mistakes or you want to make sure you don’t fail a polygraph just because you’re nervous, follow these steps to take control of your interrogation.

Steps

1. Refuse a polygraph test if you can. For pre-employment screenings this will almost certainly ensure that you don’t get hired, but it probably will not get you fired in most circumstances. In the U.S., private sector employers may not terminate employment or take other such adverse actions based solely on a polygraph refusal (this protection usually does not cover government employees). If your polygraph is part of a criminal investigation, you have a right to refuse (in the U.S., at least), and you should refuse, even if you are innocent, because of the possibilities of a “false positive.” Refusal to submit to a polygraph is generally not admissible in court, and polygraphs themselves are always inadmissible.
2. Learn about polygraphs. Since you’re reading this article, you’re on the right track, but if your career or court case depends on it, wouldn’t you do as much research as you can? Answer truthfully, now. The most important thing to know is that polygraphy is not an exact science. In fact, to the extent that it is a science at all, it is one in its infancy and one which frequently produces incorrect results.
3. Find out what the tester is seeking. A polygraph examination is administered to help find out specific information, such as whether you’re a spy or whether you’ve used drugs. Prepare yourself in advance by thinking about what confessions they are looking for, what things you cannot admit. The polygrapher will ask you many uncomfortable questions, but only certain ones are important. If your test is prompted by a specific incident, you probably know what the examiner is looking for, but for pre-employment screening tests and the like, research the company or agency’s policies to determine what you can and cannot admit.
4. Approach your whole “polygraph day” as a test. Treat the polygraph examination as an extreme job interview. Dress conservatively and appropriately, and try to make a good impression before the test, and be sure to arrive on time—and, except in the direst of circumstances, do not reschedule or attempt to postpone the exam. You wouldn’t fidget, do anything suspicious, or pick your nose during a job interview, would you? Well, the polygraph is an extreme interview because your every move is very likely being observed the moment you arrive at the testing location. There may be hidden cameras in the waiting room and the restrooms, and there is almost certainly a camera or two-way mirror in the polygraph room. Your polygraph examination begins long before you are hooked up to the machine, and ends only when you’ve left the testing location.
5. Identify the types of questions you are being asked. There are three basic types of questions you will be asked: relevant, irrelevant, and control. Irrelevant questions are those that are obvious, such as “What is your name” or “Have you ever eaten pasta?” Relevant questions are the important ones, such as “Did you leak that memo to the media?”, “Have you ever stolen money from an employer?”, or “Have you ever sold drugs?” Control questions are those against which your reactions to relevant questions will be compared. These are usually questions to which (just about) everybody can answer “yes” but which everybody is uncomfortable honestly answering, such as “Have you ever cheated in a game,” “Have you ever told a lie, even a tiny white lie, to your spouse,” or “Have you ever stolen anything?” Before the test the polygrapher will typically read you all the questions you are going to be asked. This is a good time to mentally sort out the types of questions.
6. Don’t admit anything relevant. The job of polygraphers is to extract confessions, and in one way, the whole examination is a complex ruse to trick you into confessing something. Never confess relevant information. No matter what the lines on the chart look like, nothing is more certain or damaging than your confession. The polygrapher will most likely try to convince you that he or she can “see” a lie in your polygraph, even if there’s nothing abnormal there. Don’t fall for it. Obviously, however, you want to appear to be an honest person in general, so don’t be afraid to make minor admissions to control questions (see below)—just make sure you don’t admit anything in these that can invite further questioning or that may be construed as relevant.
7. Say only what you need to say. “Yes” or “No” answers should be all you need for most of the test. Resist the temptation to explain your answers or to go into details, although the polygrapher may try to get you to do so. Be courteous and cooperative, but do not offer any more information than is absolutely necessary. Answer questions firmly, seriously, and without hesitation. This is no time to joke around or try to be crafty. You want to appear earnest, cooperative, and resolute.
8. Conceal your knowledge of polygraphy. The polygrapher may ask you, often before or after the test, if you’ve done any research on polygraph tests or what you know about them. Do not disclose that you’ve done extensive research, and act as though you don’t know much about polygraph examinations but that you do believe polygraphy to be a science and polygraphs to be reliable (or at least do not exhibit any doubt as to their reliability). The polygrapher may try to trick you by mentioning certain technical terms and acronyms, such as, “Your test came back NDI.” While you know (or will now know) that “NDI” means “no deception indicated,” you need to act as though you have no idea what it means. Too much knowledge of the process may make the polygrapher think you’ve got something to hide, even if you don’t.
9. Throw off the machine’s reading of the control questions by changing your blood pressure and heart rate. It’s difficult to do, but with practice, the next few methods and countermeasures will prompt your body to do so. Do some of the following when replying to control questions:
   • Develop a breathing strategy. Throughout the test (except during control questions) maintain a normal breathing rate of 15-30 breaths per minute. Do not breathe too deeply. Then alter breathing rate with control questions. You can make it faster or slower, you can hold your breath for a couple of seconds after an exhalation, or you can breathe more shallowly, for example. Do this for 5-15 seconds, and return to your normal breathing pattern before the next question. As explained above, the polygrapher will compare your physiological responses to control questions to your responses to relevant questions. If the deviation from normal during control questions exceeds the deviation from normal during relevant questions, you will pass. If, however, you react more to a relevant question than to control questions, the polygrapher will perceive (rightly or wrongly) that you are lying in response to something relevant—you will fail the polygraph.
   • Do math in your head. During control questions do something mentally complex. For example, count backwards in your head as quickly as possible or do some quick long division, as you are answering the question.
   • Think about something exciting or frightening; think of things that make you ecstatic, fearful, or frustrated.
   • Bite your tongue. Bite the side of your tongue hard enough to cause pain, but not so hard as to draw blood. Practice this in a mirror to be sure the polygrapher cannot detect it. This is highly effective, but may be detectable if you have to speak for an extended period, because you can’t bite while you’re speaking. Only use this method if you can give a quick “yes” or “no” response, which, luckily, will be most of the time.
   • Insert a small nail or tack in the toe area of your shoe and press down on this during the control questions to elicit a pain response. This is a sound method, but it is easily defeated if the polygrapher asks you to remove your shoes.
   • Contract your anal sphincter muscle when a control question is asked. While also highly effective, this method may (or may not) be discovered with the use of pressure-sensitive seat pads that are now commonly used.
10. Handle the post-test interview. After you’re disconnected from the machine, the polygrapher may leave you in the room for a while and come back. The polygrapher may then claim to “know” that you are lying about something. This is a trick. Remain calm, firmly, but politely repeat your denial, and don’t change or argue your answers, even in the slightest way. Decline extended post-test interviewing if possible.

The Questioning Procedures

1. First, you are “put at ease” by the administrator, and he or she talks to you about all the questions you already answered on a questionnaire or in the pre-interview. They put you at ease and tell you that it is completely normal (because it is) for some things to “suddenly” pop in your head about things you might have forgotten to mention in the pre-questionnaire/interview. They explain that they are going to ask you many of the same questions again, without the polygraph, to catch these sudden recollections. Again, they explain this is normal (again, because it is). They ask you the same questions that were in the pre-interview, and almost always, you will recall things you forgot to mention. They tell you this does not hurt you, and so all things should come out now. As you go through the questions again, they probe deeper until you are sure you have revealed everything you are asked about that particular question (employee theft, for example). After you confess a few more instances of employee theft, they take that in stride. They do use this step in the process to get more heinous info from you, but typically, are just trying to get your mind clear of any small things you might be hiding. They are not typically interested in the small stuff, and accept that you are just now recalling it.
2. After they complete that step, they then move to a simpler test of fewer, more general questions, such as “Is there anything else you wish to discuss before we begin the test?” and “Is there anything you have not revealed that I have asked of you?” They are getting the slate clean of any extra issues.
3. They then explain how the polygraph works. They tell you the truth, that it does not detect lying, and is not admissible in court. They explain all the following before hooking you up, and do not hold back anything. They explain that it is not magic, and that it simply tracks physiological responses you might give after being asked a question. They explain to you that the questions are all “yes” and “no”, and no explanations are requested. They explain that they will ask you all the questions that are on the test before hand, so you know what you will be asked. They explain they also will ask them to you in the same order before hand as they will during the test. They explain that they do this on purpose, to better catch a physiological response. They are clear that “surprise” questions are not asked, nor would the physiological response from a surprise question be worthy. They explain that you will be aware what question will be asked and when before the test. They then explain that this is so you will know when the “troublesome” question, if there is one, is coming up. They explain that is what the polygraph measures. You will be asked baseline questions at the beginning, things you and the administrator already know, such as your name, date of birth, and maybe one or two more simple questions. They explain that the polygraph baseline will show a normal rise as you listen to the question, then fall after you answer it. They explain that as they progress though the other questions, since you know about where the “troublesome” question is, your baseline will start to rise slowly after each question is asked before it. You will not have to remember exactly where the question is, just that it has not been asked yet. They then explain that your baseline gets higher and higher until the troublesome question, if there is one, is asked… when they ask it, that is the key thing the polygraph records.. the more dramatic drop in the baseline.. i.e., the “relief”. The polygraph depends on the normal human psychology of anticipation and release of tension once the anticipated event passes (sociopaths, for example, typically do not show this anticipation and release, where as most people do). Again, the administrator explains ALL of this before ever hooking you up, and explains it on purpose. They want you to know exactly what the polygraph records, because that knowledge makes you more susceptible to showing a “release” after a troublesome question.

Tips

• Practice countermeasures in advance. The countermeasures listed here can almost guarantee that you “pass” the polygraph examination, but only if you do them right. Once you read about the measures, be sure to practice them well before the test so that you’re thoroughly prepared.
• The needles on the machine chart physiological changes, such as breathing and heart rate, over time. While this sort of machine is still frequently used, computer-based polygraph machines are becoming more common. Don’t let either of them intimidate you.
• Remember that you are being watched closely during the test. When you use countermeasures, use them discreetly. You want your actions to appear subtle and unconscious.
• There are several subtle variations on the polygraph test. Be sure to research these thoroughly before your test to be prepared for anything they might throw at you.
• If you do not feel comfortable employing countermeasures from a moral standpoint, you are probably better off not taking the test. Even if this means, for example, that you will not get a job. In almost all circumstances, “passing” a polygraph cannot help you get a job, nor can it exonerate you from an alleged crime. A “failed” polygraph, however, can serve to bar you from employment or cast suspicion upon you. Still, a polygraph test is not accurate all of the time, for every person.
• Understand that polygraphs do not detect lying. They detect physiological responses when you are thinking of a topic. This is key to understand, because this is how a polygraph administrator will get the machine to “work” on you. Unfortunately, this is not as easy as you might think. For example, right now, try not to think of an elephant when I ask you not to in the next sentence. Don’t think of an elephant. As you can see, you did, regardless how hard you tried not to. You pictured one, maybe even in its normal habitat. This is how a polygraph works, when administered correctly. Many times, polygraphs are not administered correctly (usually by private firms hired by employers). However, in law enforcement for major cities, the polygraph is typically administered correctly. The correct way is as follows:
• So, if you were to hook up a polygraph to yourself in your basement and have your buddy ask you questions, it would likely not show any such anticipation/relief responses. However, the nervousness in employment interviews and police questioning is your give away. You are expected to be nervous and that is accounted for. The polygraph takes your baseline, which is your base physiological response when you are nervous. Even if you were not nervous, the baseline measures that as well. It matters not where the baseline is on the graph. What matters, is how that base line changes as the questions are asked. So, even if you are nervous as a rabbit with the baseline, you still will likely show an anticipation/relief response when asked a question you have lied about, or are holding back information about. Also, erratic changes in the baseline show a purposeful attempt to thwart it, such as trying to control your breathing, or constricting the anus.
• Remember that the Polygraph is nothing more than a complex trick to get you to make an admission. Never make a relevant admission! The polygrapher only knows what you tell them and nothing more. Many honest people fail the polygraph, and they will take this into consideration. But make an admission, and you will not pass.
• Think to yourself that the answer you are giving is the truth this will calm down anything the the polygraph will detect as a lie.
• Do not rely on the truth to prevent positive indications. The most important factor is your state of mind. You need to be relaxed. You need to know they cannot read your mind. And even if they could, they are your adversary. You need to manage your own mental state. Relax.

Warnings

• Remember that the polygrapher is not your friend, if you are trying to hold back information. The polygrapher may try to convince you that they are on your side and will help you out if you’ll just be truthful. This is deception; don’t buy it. However, a more professional polygraph administrator will not pretend to be your friend, and will tell you up front that they are simply attempting to discover if you are holding back information.
• Beware pretest tricks. Polygraphers will frequently attempt to instill fear in the subject or convince the subject of the accuracy of the polygraph machine. The theory is that the more you fear that you may be caught the greater your physiological reactions will be. Don’t believe the hype. In addition, the polygrapher may try to elicit telling reactions from you based on fear. For example, he or she may say that you need to wash your hands so the machine can accurately read your sweat output. A hidden camera in the bathroom may then catch you going into the bathroom as directed, but not washing your hands.
• Perform only one heart rate/blood pressure altering countermeasure at a time or it may become too obvious.
• These steps are good, but not foolproof. For this reason, don’t rely solely on this wiki.

Related wikiHows

• How to Lie
• How to Detect Lies
• How to Surf the Web Anonymously With Proxies
• How to Help a Friend Who Gets Arrested in the Middle of the Night
• How to Hide Chewing Gum in Class

Sources and Citations

• AntiPolygraph.org A very comprehensive site with polygraph testing news, a downloadable book, and downloads of government polygraph manuals, etc.
• The American Polygraph Association
• http://www.polygraph.com/ How to sting the polygraph

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world’s largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Cheat a Polygraph Test (Lie Detector). All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

As a big fan of both US films and Brit films, nobody puts it more succiently than Eddie Izzard, yet again!!! This is an absolute classic film, we’ll definitely have to come up with a design for the ‘French Banana War’ t-shirt and apparel for SlightlySick Gear. Enjoy.

Well what can I say, I absolutely love Eddie and couldn’t possibly find a better video to post…

Hey all graphic designers, artists, and all of America’s office workers united in complacency. If you are, much like the guys here, have entirely too much time on your hands or have more than one monitor on your desktop, and are tired of the sites like www.bored.com, come give us a try. Click on the ‘SlightlySick Comic’ category on our homepage and tear it up. We’re looking for funny comics, pictures, CG graphics, vector graphics, etc. Each month users will rate your files and the winner gets a t-shirt with their illistration on it. Simply go to the illistrator and you can either upload your own images or download from Flickr, then use our custom editing and design tool, it’s that easy!! If it wasn’t that easy, trust me, we wouldn’t have put it up on the website.

Cheers,
Dean of Sick U

Despite the fact of whether you agree or disagree with this omnipotent contrarian, we must give SlightlySick props where and when due.

He went from one-time presidential hopeful, while creating the Internet (perhaps he’s responsible for my spam?? LOL), to gallivanting across the Global skies in a Jet-5, all the while eating granola and wearing bad pastel t-shirts.

(Off subject, much to our chagrin and despite repeated attempts, he or one of his pernicious sophist of a minion refused to let him wear SlightlySick Gear in response to the accolades he received from academia, I guess to receive an honorary degree from Sick U wasn’t enough).

I digress, if you haven’t guessed who this man of mystery is, it’s none other than Al Gore!!!! Yes, my friends, ol’ Al has had the last laugh, straight to the bank. I guess he figured, screw you Jonn-Q public, go ahead steal the election, I’m still gonna get your government subsidized dollars anyway.

After long term commitments to fighting global warming and developing and creating companies to meet those demands, I’m sure he’ll purchase a beach front home in Yuma, AZ just after the big one hits in CA. Well if you see Al on the streets tell’em the guys (and one rather cheeky monkey) at SlightlySick University the Las Vegas online University are looking for him and want to give him honorary BS degree.

This is a SlightlySick University, Las Vegas online, favorite. It comes from Space Ghost Coast-to-Coast and features the wrestling legend Macho Man. I never get tired of watching this clip:

What are bombs can’t do….let our actors finish. I have been a film buff my entire life, and I’m not just talking about pornagraphy. I mean let’s face it, nobody can tell me you can’t help but watch a porno that has a wonderful storyline. But I digress, this class isn’t about human anatomy 101, is about the develop of US film, or should I say, the great moments in film history.

My first clip is from the movie “Stripes” featuring the bad boys of 1980’s comedy:

Watch the clip, its definitely worth it.