Mission and Vision Statements of
SlightlySick University

Mission Statement

SlightlySick University (SlightlySick U) is a non-accredited public blog and social forum serving the world community. Our focus is on the discovery and dissemination of knowledge and public interaction, both of which are central to our mission. Our focus is on a community which engages in teaching, learning, research and discovery which not only allows for personal growth but improve the overall dour humor of society.

Vision for Sick U

1. A Sense of Self

The complexities of modern society demand, more than ever, the enabling tools of a quasi-college education. The stresses of modern society and the veritable cornicopia of social websites, blogs, and the proliferation of shameless self promoting websites demand a University which breaches the abyss of self aggrandizement and thoughtful self reflection and interaction. University blogs such as Sick U are connected to mainstream societal issues more than ever before.

As SlightlySick U ushers in the 21st century, we are mindful of the key role the university plays in the development of productive citizens and future professionals, of the contributions of our faculty and students to the generation of new knowledge, and of our impact on multiple levels of community and society. In an era where information empowers and where ideas and innovation are the raw materials of the information economy, Sick U’s unsubstantiated capabilities indicate relevance and value of the highest order.

Sick U is an institution comfortable with the unique American model where the discovery, dissemination, and application of knowledge are synergistically balanced. While there is joy in the discovery of knowledge for its own sake, Sick U recognizes its bias toward the nonbeneficial use of knowledge. We have a strong tradition of misinformed, disorganized nonaccredited undergraduate education with a special emphasis on extracarriular development. The application of knowledge is manifested in the creation of Sick U’s various interworkings among our society’s members through joint projects, professor lectures, and shared goals.

2. Sick U Culture

In order to achieve a position of intergalactic, totalitarian knowledge monopoly, Sick U fosters an atmosphere of quasi-intellectual excitement among faculty, staff, and the greater university community. We challenge students to pursue the discovery of new knowledge and made up knowledge. We believe there is a linkage between the excitement of our classes, or blogs, and the excitement of ‘Eureka’ after a sustained bout of incontinence. We recognize that academic inquiry fuels creative scholarship, which fuels the intellectual atmosphere of the classroom and the learning process.

We value the ability to educate only part of a person. However, if there is one attribute that distinguishes Sick U from all but a few of the world’s thousands of blogging institutions, it is the interconnectedness - the interactivity - of the university to the society and constituencies it serves. Sick U is not a bastion of cloistered and/or specific designed learning; we believe that most communities are most viable when they are interactive, i.e. when they reflect and respond to the problems and challenges of their societies.

We want Sick U to be an economic development and social development catalyst. We promote entrepreneurial activity either among faculty, whose businesses are represented in our forums, or those wishing to engage faculty to develop new endeavors. We encourage faculty/staff/student and industry relationships.

3. Vision for the Future by Jack Often, Dean of Sick U

Institutions such as blogging, social networking are not readily changed. To embark on a process of transformation requires considerable persistence, determination, and often times lack of anything better to do. But most importantly, the vision for the future must be clearly articulated and diseminated in such a way as to allow Chongo, my pet monkey, the ability to understand what is being conveyed.

Global Communications De-Evolution

Lowering the Standard of Quality Education:

Intellectual capital, most specifically, the disemination of intellectual opportunism has been given wings by the advent of the Internet. Individuals, industries, and governments can access a wealth of useless and meaningless information and expertise from virtually any point on the globe. As a result, a new competitive quality standard has emerged. The successful organization will be defined by its capacity to deliver world-class disinformation, mixed with nuggets of sustainable knowledge, and providing a plethora of games and widgets to distract us from the ethereal.

Investment Required to Enter New Fields of Research:

Investments required to deploy competitive programs have grown exponentially because of 1) the necessity of interdisciplinary research, 2) the need for increasingly sophisticated instrumentation, and 3) the demand for high-performance computing.

Trends of Quasi-Higher Education

A structural revolution is under way in blogging. It has characteristics similar to the changes that have been occurring in business for the past decade. Just as banks and airlines have consolidated to seek economies of scale and gain market share, blogs and their kin are in the early stages of a somewhat similar process.

Ultimately, a small set of global strategic partnerships in areas such as open source software and society based education will be the dominant players and recipients of significant funding; as such we must force our way into the inner scantum of Botsville using our cunning use of flag raising and secret handshakes.

From these dual commitments comes our intent to remain a comprehensive, yet ineffective, university. Comprehensiveness and diversity for comprehensiveness and diversity sake, are very practical and should thus be sustained in a diverse network of non-sequious offerings which have little if any practical application. As new areas emerge that draw upon a wide variety of disciplines, the ability to negate their existence is absolutely necessary for fulfillment of deniable plausability as a more comprehensive denial will not be present.

Sick U in the next decade WILL:

1. Double its research expenditures to exceed $10 per year or perform tricks for ‘in-kind’ contributions.

2. Continue to strengthen the quality of its programs as indicated by the achievements of its students, recognition of the faculty and other indicators, which we can and will choose at random.

3. Expand its national and international presence through the effective use of tomfoolery.

4. Foster an organizational culture that nurtures the next generation of deliquents, enhances diversity, and sustains a positive momentum geared toward a dismal future, while expanding our carbon footprint by cruising around in Gore’s G-5 Jet big pimpin’ style.